One day, I made a decision that would begin a process of transformation. I decided that I deserved a better life. I had spent too many years looking at my friends, peers, and colleagues with envy. As I shared recently, comparing myself to others paralyzed me and made me feel “stuck” with a life I didn’t particularly want or enjoy.
Honestly, my lupus diagnosis probably deserves most of the credit for getting me unstuck.
Over the last few months, I have been letting go of the things that no longer serve me—and sharing my journey on this blog. The road has been long, and it hasn’t always moved in a forward direction. Sometimes I take a few steps backward or long detours along the way. I think it’s important to share the missteps as much as the victories. Today I want to talk about my battle with envy.
I got married on June 28, 2003. My husband and I separated on April 30, 2004. My divorce was final on February 22, 2006. In less than three years, I went from newlywed to divorcée. Mine wasn't the shortest marriage ever, but I was devastated and embarrassed.
I blamed my ex-husband for the failure of our marriage. He wouldn't talk to me about what was bothering him; he wouldn't forgive me when I apologized.
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
Crystal Moore began her wellness quest in 2003 after being diagnosed with lupus. Her quest has led her to embrace yoga, faith, exercise, healthy eating, and relationships. Share her journey.